Saturday, March 4, 2017

Pot calling the kettle black

I was nearly a nut job in childhood. Piked up fights with friends, beat down my classmates and used to steal things like the gregarious bunch of some kleptomaniac freaks. Instead of exercising atonement over my childhood notoriety, I felt elated over vandalizing things on provocation.

"If you don't pull up your socks and behave, things will be difficult for you in future," - used to say my mom after some gentle mild rebukes over my mischievousness. "I will beat the shit out of you the next time i hear complain from neighbors. You got my point?" - used to say my father who seemed to lose his temperament the moment he heard complains from people about my intractable childhood mischief.

When mom rebuked, it was understandable for me that she was in pain for my action. She is a woman of substance I must say. But when father said something in saintly advisory tone, i simply looked at him in amazement, wondering what made him so wise today. I was unable to get his sermons because his erratic manner was well-know to everyone. I was wondering how come someone having already earned a notoriety because of his bad manner could ever take the helm of being a sagacious sounding priest. Well my father is not that bad, it is his going nuts at anything/anyone that may sound hurting his ego.

At present, i am working in a company as a TEAM HEAD in digital content department. When I was appointed for the job, expectations were high that Pawan (that's me) would handle the pressing needs of the department (which were to manage the work backlogs, handle team and facilitate departmental coordination). It's been three months since I have been doing the job and if i am correct in my ergonomic analysis, i concur that I have done a good job, if not the very fabulous one.

This is because I have, so far, handled everything that was expected of me, except on the point that i refused to kowtow to people outside my team and who were trying to dominate me with their conspicuously pronounced superiority complex.

My temperament is kind of unpredictable, but it flares up like a needle of a barometer when it is contacted in the heat temperature. The problem is not that I am having such temper but sometimes I just dont know how to manage it and keep it under control. Anger in me triggers upon provocative advance of someone. However, what is strikingly unique deportment in me is that I feel remorseful after pacified anger of mine and tend to approach to the victim of my indignation with folded hands or in a gesture signifying conciliatory approach from me.

In this company I have met different types of guys with different temperament. There is this guy whose behavior is beyond my ken to judge in, you know, in a certain behavioral pattern. This guy is very interesting, not because he is another ordinary person doing his 9 hours of job like his peers, but because his manner is quite eccentric....and weirdly awkward. I sometime call it "intrusive".

This guy did all what he thought was best he could in order to just make me feel to be in awe with his domineering personality. I refused to oblige, bluntly. This guy seems a big fan of religious devotion and he often braggarts of his devotion for the divinity, wanting to know people his piousness.

I, for one, think - "how come someone be pious as said or held in such belief on the premise that his action is quite in contrast to his pronounced piousness?'

How could someone having malice in heart for others could pompously blow his divine reverence? Okay forget the reverence, how could someone trust his words belying his true nature or temperamental rudeness?

Most importantly, "How could someone like him expects or rather talks about respect if he shows none for others?"

Recently I was traveling in a bus to my office. I saw one of my fellow passengers stealing a furtive glance over a girl who was engrossed in her book, unaware of the stealth ogling. Few minutes later, the man turned to a lady with a kid, motioning her to get up and follow him which was an indication that the man wanted the lady and the kid to get down from the vehicle. I realized right away that they were couple.

Suddenly, when the man was escorting his wife to the driver's cabin (usually this cabin leads to the exit gate), another passenger looked at his wife's cleavage which did not escape to the watchful stare of his hubby who thought the glance a perverted attempt of the passenger. He snarled at him and was about to hold him by collar when other passengers meddled in and pacified the fight which was to occur.

The incident left me thinking of the weird encounter of poetic justice that just unfolded.

Few days ago i came across a news citing the statement of Rahul Gandhi, denouncing each and every initiative of Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, calling him good for nothing for the country. I just smiled, thinking of it another political stunt blurted in jest, for Congress dynasty and some of its initiatives taken in their governance are still held in mockery.

Recently I was preaching to someone about the importance of anger management, then smiled at me. "An angry boy teaching anger management!"

But then, it hit me really hard - why not?

Only the victim of an accident can preach someone the importance of driving carefully, and not in tanked physical as well as mental state.