ME, AS A MATTER OF FACT

Silence has power. It motivates me to creativity. When I am at work, I usually keep silent just because I dont want outside disturbance ruin my creativity at work. While this behavior of mine resulted in certain individual benefits, it has represented my personality at workplace as an arrogant, self-reserved, conceited and unfriendly fellow.

The result? I couldn't mingle with anyone. I always felt lonely even though I was among the crowd of people. But deep down, I am not arrogant or anything as deduced so negatively by people. It's just that I can't stand rubbish, nonintellectual talks. I believe, when I am to open mouth, I want my audience be sensitive, intellectual and well read to understand the gravity of my words. I get turned off when my words are contorted. There's one more reason behind my being silent - I respect other's privacy. I dont want to be cause of someone's problem.

Moreover, I am contemplative. I love talks of wisdom, not silly teenagers senseless tidbits. I can understand that, at their age, they speak quite naturally...i'ts me being not friendly to their words just because they do not concede to my discretion. Age factor? May be! I value my words a lot. I tend to speak words of wisdom. I dont want to be taken for granted. I am so allergic to unwanted criticism as well. People who are talkative, liers, vainglorious, bigots, vituperative, blasphemous, argumentative, disrespectful and virago - I feel very uncomfortable with them.

I try to avoid them. I've been quite a loner in my life. As per work, I always tend to be a lone wolf. Past 3 months were the devastating days of my life. They were devious but ended up making me humble and to be more truthful to myself. I thank them by heart. At last, I adore lord Vishnu Ji...His divine presence during the quagmire were of inexplicably helpful. I broke down many a time by d dreadful vision of poverty I dreamed in those days.

God! they were real nightmare! Those saying Pawan is arrogant or negative must live my life just for once. I have been through extremely difficult, immeasurable pains of my life. May be there are countless out there who may have slept many nights empty stomach, but still I tend to defend those negative outlooks held by some, believing I am cold, unfriendly fellow. Dude! That's me dealing with life's shits. So, please don't be such a smartass judgmental on me. You can't handle half of the shits I have gone through in these months. But then again, thank you very much to my Lord for those trials and tribulations - couldn't have understood myself better hadn't I faced em.

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